how to be always on time

Considering that Oxford is the birth place of Alice in Wonderland, it is perhaps not that surprising to see crazy things all over the place, like trains being listed as "on time" 16 minutes after they should have departed:



I spotted this magically punctual train to Bicester Town last Sunday in passing, but I've seen similar cases lots of times before, and it's not because someone forgot to delete the train from the list after it has left the station. Typically, the train hasn't even arrived yet, is long overdue, and still listed as "on time." So when the local radio people do their usual line at the end of the traffic news: "a quick look at the departure board at Oxford Station - all trains are running on time," you know what to think of it. Mad laughter would be the appropriate response, I think.